PARENTS - CHILDREN FIRST EXAMPLE
I am aware that there are numerous forms of religion but when I am speaking about family life matters, I am focusing on Christianity. Because first and foremost it is my spiritual foundation. I believe in Almighty God the One Supreme God and in Jesus Christ His Beloved Begotten Son and the Saviour of the world. I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God regardless of the challenges it has passed through. I believe that humans ought to worship God and also to assemble for worship as outlined in Hebrews 10 and verse 25, Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
I believe that children are from God as said in Psalm 127 verses 3-5, Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
I believe that each man’s quiver is made to securely keep a specific amount, of arrows so it is that each man should not have excess arrows in his quiver because they will not be properly cared for. They will become damaged goods because they are not securely packaged.
Would you agree that parents are primary examples for their children? Children learn much more by observing their parents than by listening to their lectures, especially if what the parents speak is not what they do.
Parents should know that children are not showpieces instead they are God’s gift and He expects us to treat them as He treats us. Parents are to:
Ø Build a stable home for their children whether it be a tent or a palace is not important
Ø Love and correct their children without fear or favour
Ø Be a friend, mentor, counsellor, advisor and when necessary, a judge
Ø Provide for children materially, physically, psychologically and spiritually
Ø Fathers should play the role of a father 1st Timothy 5verse 8 But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Ø Mothers are gatekeepers; they should assist the fathers in preparing the children to become outstanding men and women, thus fulfilling God's plan for their lives.
Ø Proverbs 13:22 reminds us that a good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children.
A child goes through several stages: first a babe, then a toddler afterward an infant, then comes the puberty stage and being an adolescent, moving on to being a teen and escalating into adulthood. It is terrifying that many children do not get the opportunity to enjoy these stages of development because they are forced into adulthood through their behaviour or that of others. This is abuse.
There are different types forms of abuse inclusive of: mental, physical, psychological, sexual, carnal and psychosocial and every type carries damaging effects. Some children are not allowed to get a good education, some are forced to fend for themselves and their siblings, some suffer immense physical and psychological abuse, thus taking on great financial responsibilities, some become early entrepreneurs, some are living with partners much older than themselves, some are employed are not paid the correct wages. Some are sold into all types of bondage. Some are prostitutes or used as sex slaves. These are only a few of the many snares into which our children have fallen. All these things happen to our children because homes are shattered. There is no spiritual foundation. We are reminded in Psalm 127 verse1-Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Children are often left unguided; they make decisions for themselves. Many of us place our focus on material things and we transmit these same values to our children. Some parents have minimal time for their children therefore the children are reared on the street or by peers, yet these parents are surprised and defensive when their children get in to deep trouble. The world is in trouble because most parents are not effective parents. Many children are not taught common courtesies yet they are expected to be courteous. They are reared in strife and conflict and suffer brutality and hunger yet we expect them to be gentle.
Children are often attired immodestly, go where only adults should go, not taught biblical principles, left unsupervised, yet we cannot understand why teen pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, crime, school dropouts and such are on a rapid increase. Proverbs 22:6 says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Tolerance is the buzz word today. We tolerate everything that is wrong and we use feeble theories as the foundation source for our tolerance. We reject the Bible, which is the word of God but we cling for dear life to the words and teachings of ungodly people.
Proverbs 13:24 tells us that he that spareth his rod hateth his own son but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Today we do rarely use effective punishment instead we find reasons to justify our children misbehaviours. The rejected word of God does not sanction abuse but man’s theories have caused a multiplication of abuse against children and others.
Many children are disrespectful yet expects to be respected. Proverbs 29:15 tells us that a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. The exercise of moral values are on the decrease. We need to teach our children the magic words: please, thank you, excuse me, I’m sorry. They need to seek permission and guidance from the caregiver before doing something and care givers need to give good guidance.
Decrease in sincere worship leads to an increase in ungodliness in every form. Families need to return to God. Many dispute the Bible or believe that the Church is for the old people. Many children do not have a Bible or any knowledge of God and Jesus but they are given all types of expensive devices for entertainment. God’s words are often not taught in the home and it is absent in the community and it is taken out of the school curriculum. The homes and communities are suffering from spiritual drought. Proverbs 29 verse 18 says, Where, there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Bearing this in mind ask yourselves what kind of children are we rearing to rule us in the future.
Deuteronomy 6:7 reminds us how God instructed Israel to teach their children His words continually. He said, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou riseth up.
Apostle Paul commented on Eunice and Lois for teaching Timothy the words of God. Timothy absorbed these teachings and became one of the greatest evangelists. Children who are exposed to God’s word are better able to make the right choices and are less open to abuse.
Parenting is a mammoth task but the Bible is replete with information which will help parents to be as God desires. When we turn to these biblical principles our children will be safer.
In this economic crisis many parents leave their children and go to foreign lands in search of a better life. Sadly, oftentimes the children are lost while their parents are busy hunting wealth. Can barrels or money transfers rear children? Let us offer the love, protection and guidance needed by our children. Let us pray with them and for them. Let us remember that if we abuse our children, it is a terrible sin. Do not break bones nor hearts, do not sell them or pawn them out. They are God’s jewels; that is why Jesus said, except you repent and become like little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of God.
In summary what are parents to do:
Ønot only speak about love and moral values but also model such in your daily life
Ø Model your Christian beliefs. No sexual abuse, no verbal abuse, no physical abuse i.e.
hitting or inflicting pain on your children just to vent your anger)
Ø From their earliest years teach your children to respect you, themselves and others
Ø Diligently administer discipline and be able to identify the differences between defiance
and immaturity
Ø Focus on what will help your children to become godly persons
Ø Know that each child is unique so never compare or degrade any
Ø Respect each child as a unique person
No parent is perfect but with God you can do an excellent job. The Bible is replete with instructions. You can be the parent God wants you to be; just use the tools He has given.
Writer- A. E. Fisher
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